After leaving, he realised he had left his wallet so had to come back in again and then embark on his third and final goodbye.
Once dressed he then had to say goodbye again – slightly more awkwardly. But then he had to get dressed – and this he said is where the awkwardness that he wishes to remove from his one-night stand endeavours ensued. So he told her that he had to leave and they said their goodbyes. After staying the whole night through he tried to sneak out with what he described as the ‘duvet wriggle’, (a man tactic I am told in order to get out of bed without waking her up). Mr C, who was in fact the one who suggested this article be written, told me of a not too terrible example of leaving a one-night stand, but one none the less that I will share with you. If it means getting up at 5am to make it to work on time then so be it – you made your bed, lie in it. Tips For Next Time: If you’re lucky enough to have been taken back to hers then you can damn sure stay a little while. Got work in the morning? So do most people Mr B. Mr B had snagged some poor girl on a Thursday night out and managed to go back to hers, after the deed was done he swiftly got up, got dressed and left with a quick “I’ve got work in the morning”. Tips For Next Time: A simple “Lovely to meet you – great apartment by the way” would have sufficedĪ friend exclaimed one morning with a smirk on his face that he had ‘pulled a bit of dick move’ the previous night. Note To All: Do not employ stalker-ish qualities in order to be kicked out Details of what happened from this moment until the morning are (for obvious reasons) disclosed, but come morning (points for staying the whole night through) said friend found the decor of her flat to be so inspiring that he started walking around from room to room to take pictures of her interiors – upon finding him snapping away on his phone she was of course totally bemused, if not terrified, and swiftly showed him the door. Luckily, despite his inebriated state, Mr A managed to pull out some suave strings and ended up going back to a girls house just around the corner.
Last weekend my friend, let’s call him Mr A, after being refused re-entry to a smart watering hole in West London found himself stuck on the street while we all continued to dance the night away with no idea that he was even missing (we’re good friends like that). To start you off, I want to tell you a few true stories from real male friends of mine, the kind of friends and colleagues who genuinely believed that they were doing the whole one-night stand thing right, only to be swiftly shot down by fury and up-roar from women like myself. No cotton-wool wrapping it, just straight out there, to the point – is there ever a correct way to leave a one-night stand? That is not to say that we condone one-night stands, but unlike your parents we are not blinded by thoughts of you as perfect monogamous men who wait until love or marriage before partaking in S.E.X. That’s right gentlemen, we’re answering the question that many of you will no doubt have wondered at some point in your sexual life.